Updated: Dec 12, 2018
Baby Bear and I went to the barbers yesterday. His usual short back and sides, thin out the mop around his crown and get your moneys worth in the fringe without making him look a touch "special" cut went without a hitch and my mid-life crisis fuck it I'm going to grow my hair is back to a post ironic, war time short back and sides, slicked back on top, all I need is a pencil tash and I'm practically my Grandad look. I feel better for having my hair cut. My mood is better, I've looked at myself in the mirror a couple of times in the last 24 hours and thought, yeah, you look alright Papa Bear, nice do, certainly an improvement on the half tied up haystack that was there yesterday.
Is this why people spend all that time, money & energy tarting themselves up? It must be exhausting. Does the kick that you get when you don't look like a bag of hungry badgers really justify the process of getting there? I'm talking about people in general here, that friend/ mum on the school run who clearly has spent time that she doesn't have getting ready because she's leaving the house. If you know me at all you will know that I am, and have always been, a t shirt, jeans, jumper/ hoodie, sneakers sort of a bear. If I have a shirt on and it's buttoned up I'm either at work or getting married again. So I may try a wee experiment, no idea for how long but maybe I'll make a vague effort of a morning. No hats, actually bother to sort out my barnet of a morning, shirt and knit wear of some description rather than a t shirt and hoodie. It may end there, I'll be buggered if I'm ironing anything! And I don't do shoes. But I may try to look a bit more human, just for me and see if it makes a difference.
So does that potentially mark the start of an ever lasting mission to look OK in order to feel less shit? Is this something that us depressives should try rather than only the slightly superficial type that reads lady mags and actually knows some of the "celebrities" on that jungle programme? And in the long run is it healthy to do so? Is it not just another coping mechanism to add to the pile, designed to cover up rather than actually "cure"?
I have no idea, I'd be interested in your thoughts so please comment below if you feel that way inclined. Apologies that this is a fairly short ramble, we've got painting going on which goes hand in hand with loud & constant Radio 1.
Papa Bear x
NOTE - I'm writing this a couple of days later, tried on 3 shirts this morning, couldn't button one of them up. Life is telling me what a fat c@£t I am and who am I to argue? Ah well, I did try...............